--------------------WARNING! SPOILERS ENSUE!--------------------
You start out listening to a guy explain how a really big solar flare released a massive amount of neutrinos. Those neutrinos mutated, and acted like microwaves when it hit the Earth, warming the core. Actually, that's probably the most believable part of the whole film.
So this whole story centers on a few main people, one of which is Jackson Curtis. He's a lovable guy well disguised as a nutjob, and he's divorced (big surprise). He takes his kids to Yellowstone, and meets this other nutjob who says that the world's gonna end in a couple of days. Well, he's right. A doctor named Adrian (who happened to be listening to the same lecture I explained last paragraph) happens to also be at Yellowstone, taking readings to see when the crust gets too hot. He finds out that the world is gonna end in two days, and the evacuation starts.
Jackson takes his kids back to his ex's after she gets worried about them, an apparent side-effect of almost being killed by the San Andreas fault. He gets suspicious when his boss and his children suddenly leave the state, mentioning he's gonna die. He hires a plane, and then the Earth decides to give way, just as he's picking his family up. We go through a chase scene in which Pasadena falls into the Pacific Ocean, with Jackson and his family (and his boyfriend who happens to be a pilot) escaping death around 20 times, with the whole earthquake thing only counting as 1.
He heads to Yellowstone, and finds the crazy dude (who also happens to be Tallahassee from Zombieland) on the top of the Yellowstone Caldera. While there, he gets info and a map from the crazy guy. Apparently, there's a bunch of ships that are in China, which are supposed to save some people from what's gonna happen. So, as soon as Jackson leaves Tallahassee, the volcano erupts, giving the crazy guy a great way to exit. Meanwhile, Jackson tries to escape the eruption. Cue destructive chase scene!
But China's far away. So, Mystery Inc. stops in Las Vegas, where Jackson finds his rich boss, who needs to get to China, but also needs a second pilot. So heroic Gordon (that's the boyfriend) steps in. Another destructive plane getaway!!!!
Meanwhile, Washington needs to deal with the whole "world ending". Dr. Adrian talks to his dad, says goodbye, and tries to get President whats-his-name to leave. You see, the plan was to get the President to China via Air Force One, but he doesn't want to go quietly into the night! Like Bill Pullman before him, the President roughs it out with the civvies, and then gets crushed by the USS John F Kennedy. Oh, did I mention there's tsunamis all over the world? And that the South Pole is now in Wisconsin? And that Dr. Adrian's dad dies, and that the President's daughter now has to cope with her father's death, and that Dr. Adrian has a crush on her, and he has to deal with the Chief of Staff, who is just a mean person? Whew, that's a mouthful. Back to Jackson.
Jackson's boss' Russian pilot (Sasha) tells everybody that they need to stop and refuel somewhere west of Hawaii (which is now Lava Central), expecting to splashdown in the Pacific Ocean. Since there isn't fuel in the Pacific Ocean (other than the oil from the Exxon Valdez), they all prepare to tough it out in the ocean. But, since the South Pole is now in Wisconsin, the Earth decided to meet them halfway. Surprise! You're in the Himalayas! Even then, the engines decide to c**p out on Ol' Sasha, and he tells everyone to escape in the Bentley that happens to be in the cargo hold. Everyone gets out as Sasha steers the plane, and Sasha is now hurtling towards a cliff. Oh no! Oh wait, he's safe. Oh wait! He died!
Soon after that, they see a bunch of helicopters flying by, carrying animals (sure, two by two if you want). They stop and pick up the rich boss and his sons, but not his girlfriend, because the boss never got her a ticket D:<
The rest of them make their way over to the ships, where they find a family who is being smuggled on board. They band together and successfully get into the ship. Meanwhile, one of the "arks" isn't going to be launched, stranding thousands of people (including the boss) and putting Adrian in a dilemma. After the movie's mandatory moving speech by Adrian, they decide to let the stranded people on board, even though the Chief of Staff thinks that they're all going to die because of it. Oh, did I mention that there's another wave they didn't see coming, which cuts down their available time? Suspense!
After everybody gets on board (except the boss, by a freak accident... yeah, let's go with that...) they try to get the other doors closed... except! Since the Jackson 9-or-so weren't where they were supposed to be (learn a lesson from this kids!), the door's jammed with an electrical cord... oh, and Gordon's corpse. So, SuperJackson goes down on a "suicide mission" to get the cord out, while the wave strikes, drowning the boss' girlfriend and putting all of mankind in mortal peril.
--------This part edited out due to copyright issues-------
So, Jackson saves the day, lives through the suicide mission, and everyone gets saved from crashing into Mt. Everest ("Target elevation 29,000 feet?! What's at 29,000 feet?!?!?!"). Everybody makes their way to Africa, which happens to have survived the whole earthquake-tsunami thing.
-----------------End Spoilers-----------------
While what I said here seems to be mocking, this was actually a pretty good movie. The one problem with it was that, comparable to the "_______ Movie" series (Epic Movie, Scary Movie) which used pop culture references, this recycled every generic drama script known to man. There was a bunch of characters there that didn't need to be, and the whole thing was a bit overplayed. However, if you're looking for a disaster flick, this fits the bill very nicely.
If you managed to read through all of that, I congratulate you!
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